You Think Too Much! A life of thought…and some thoughts on life.

Have you ever noticed that when men or women are single / alone…they tend to do their best to balance their strengths and weaknesses to best perform in society. E.g. if you’re an introvert and would rather spend your time alone in your time off, you still occasionally make the effort to mingle and interact with others to bring some sort of balance. Or if you’re not too fond of cleaning, you still do it occasionally if you’re alone, because no one else will.

However, when two people are in a relationship, living together, strengths seem to polarize a lot more than they normally would, i.e. especially if the partners have opposite personalities, you tend to become reliant on the other for the things you’re not so good at…and make much less of an effort than you would if you were alone. This is what I like to term ‘polarization in relationships’ (partners gravitating to their natural ‘poles’ of comfort)

This may be all well…after all, that’s what good relationships should offer right? Someone to rely on and someone to complete you and complement your strengths, make up for your weaknesses…? But when does dependence end and become mutual slavery? Does over-dependence start to interfere with our ability to have a healthy relationship?

Another interesting term a colleague mentioned recently was the ‘urge to merge’, especially when two people of the same gender are living together…eventually some habits and preferences ‘merge’, e.g. using the same perfume or make-up, wearing similar clothes, etc. This is another interesting form of symbiosis in relationships…or is it?

Aren’t strong relationships formed on the basis of two unique, independent individuals making the conscious decision (influenced by various factors, of course) to do so? And with polarization and the urge to merge, where does that independence transform itself to a form of mutual slavery…and just how detrimental is this to the health of a long-lasting relationship? Something to think about…